A Few Things, Honey
House Rules
Granny raised you better than this. But just in case — here's a refresher.
⏰ Check-In / Check-Out
- • Check-in: 4:00 PM
- • Check-out: 11:00 AM
👥 Occupancy
- • Max occupancy: 7 guests — "Granny gets overwhelmed"
- • Up to 2 additional guests allowed — $35/night per additional guest (max 9 total)
🚭 No Smoking / Vaping
- • 🚭 No smoking inside
- • 💨 No vaping inside
🐾 No Animals
- • No animals allowed — "Granny has allergies"
🎉 No Parties or Events
- • No parties or events
🎆 No Fireworks
- • NO fireworks. Ever. Period.
🔇 Quiet Hours
- • 9:30 PM – 8:30 AM
🌡️ Thermostat
- • Max 68°F — "Granny keeps it cozy the old fashioned way. Check the quilt closet."
🔥 Fire Pit
- • Fire pit use subject to current Michigan DNR burn ban status
- • Check burn ban status before lighting any fire
- • Never leave fire unattended
- • Fully extinguish before going to bed or leaving property
- • ❌ No fires during active burn bans — violation is guest's full legal and financial responsibility
- → Check current burn ban at michigan.gov/dnr
🚗 Parking
- • No parking on road — unloading OK, but all vehicles and trailers must be in the driveway
📷 Exterior Cameras
- • Exterior cameras on property — "Granny has trust issues. Max occupancy enforced."
⚠️ Stairs Warning
- • Upstairs loft accessed via original 1974 chalet stairs — narrow, steep, and full of character. Hold the rail. Use at your own risk.
🦌 Firearms
- • Firearms allowed — bring at your own risk, follow all Michigan laws
🔑 Door Code
- • Lockbox door code sent via email on the morning of your arrival. Grab the key, unlock the door — then put the key back in the lockbox and lock it.
🏁 Checkout by 11:00 AM
- • 🔥 Extinguish fire pit with hose — must be cold to the touch before leaving
- • 🛏️ Leave used beds unmade so we know what to wash
- • 🍽️ Wash all dishes and put away — you're the dishwasher at Granny's
- • 🗑️ Empty all interior trash into outdoor bins
- • 🚛 Leaving Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning? Roll the bin to the road (trash day!)
- • 🔑 Return key to lockbox and lock it
- • 🔒 Lock all windows and doors
📅 Date Changes
- • One free date change allowed with 30+ days notice. No changes within 30 days.
📅 Cancellation Policy
| Timing | Refund |
|---|---|
| 30+ days before check-in | 100% refund |
| 14–29 days before check-in | 50% refund |
| Under 14 days | No refund |
| No-show | No refund |
🛡️ Guest Damage Protection
A $500 refundable damage deposit is collected at booking and returned within 3 business days after checkout — as long as Granny's place is treated with respect. Accidents happen; destruction doesn't.
📋 Liability Waiver
All guests must sign a digital liability waiver at booking covering: stairs, fire pit, outdoor activities, firearms, and general property risks. Granny's lawyer made her do it.
👀 The Granny Rule
“Treat it like Grandma's house. Because it is.”